A Miracle

I didn't used to believe in it.......but it just happened with me........A Miracle!! Though just once you but it was profound enough to change my life entirely.......
Many a random incidents happen in our life  almost every passing day........In fact every passing day is an incident itself.........It is just that when such incidents leave their footprints on the road of your life that you realize not only their impact but also their existence.......
Honestly speaking, now I surely believe that even the very next moment of life might have something unpredictable in its store......You never know!!!!
It started like any other day.......late rising, a cup of tea, a short while of study, a long chat on phone, a trip to JU, a yummy phuchka meal and then perhaps the most trivial thing of the day an auto ride.......But halt was it just that?? AN AUTO RIDE??????!!!!!!
There sat a lady beside me in the auto along with her relative.....She had her own story to say....a sad story, to be precise,of illness and demise...........Yes of her own demise due to feeble financial conditions that are not immune to expensive and deadly maladies....(Really even life shows its true colors in terms of money!!!!! *sigh*). Sitting in the shrunken pillion of the auto, I could not help but overhear her mourning......It touched my heart and returning home I wept like a freak thinking about her......It is just then I made a call to share my grief with the person who is meant for this purpose and with whom I interact for the umpteenth time that my life took a different course all together.......
I cried my heart out to him and patient as he is, he consoled me and made me calm only to give me the rudest yet most inevitable truth of my life.......A shock will be a better word to fit in.....
As I was sobbing and panting he coolly drew a comparison......of the sympathy that I feel at the death of a human and the apathy which I show at the brutal murder of an animal for the sake of our culinary delights.......CONTRAST should be more apt.......Nevertheless, I was left dumb-founded.....He drew a picture....a rather sordid one.....of sins and resurrection..in simple words.....He shot back interrogations as to how we usurp the right to kill other creatures bestowed with life on His will but his questions were unanswered......and then, with the calm modesty that is so akin to him, when he equated my entity to that of a haughty scoundrel, I was only left to lament.........Seriously, the turn of events still now baffles me,keeping me speechless........
A self-eroding despondence followed my lament and I drank deep the wine of repentance. As a repercussion of all the regret, I took the vow of my life.......I took the path of abstinence......a difficult one but at least it promises to be bereft of guilt........
Clarifying the miraculous part of this tale........The miracle lies not in the conversation, not in his advices but in him..........  I owe my virtue to him, the savior of my conscience........And I don't mind being indebted to a miracle......Thanking this miraculous friendship from my heart's core, I bid adieu!!!!!

Being A Woman

Obviously I’m writing this today at the end of the much talked-about ‘Woman’s Day’….Nevertheless when I started pondering about my own womanhood for a while, it was a bunch of mixed feelings that gripped me……..It was a journey down the memory lane, a reminiscence, a realization and above all ‘It is what my life is all about’……..

Firstly to begin with what does womanhood mean? How is it like being a woman? How do we women strive in the ‘patriarchal society’? Or is it the story of our valiant achievements in spite of facing the handicaps of being the weaker sex? .......... It is none of these things and yet it is all about these things. A woman no doubt plays many roles and plays it well….. She can nurture as a mother, care as a sister, support as a friend and love as a lover……..She is a soldier, a martyr and a creator……. yes the creator of life…….And this perhaps is one of the greatest achievement in a woman’s life as what can be more beautiful than being able to give birth to a life…..Even the almighty has been prudent enough to give this magic only to a woman, not that I’m being blasphemous by questioning his capabilities…… I hereby take pride as well as a humble bow…….Long live my feminity

Coming back to my own story……….Yes it has been amazing…………I have played only a few roles among the many that a woman does and yet I have learned so much and loved so much………A sense of completeness grips me here.

Like any other girl I have grown up seeing my mother. The fighter that she is, she has raised a family with love and care and yet made me what I am today….. Mothers are always an inspiration. So not being an exception, my mother has taught me to love to live and to endure…….The last lesson has a tremendous impact on my life because for feeble mortals like us the only thing that helps to strive through this life is endurance and for a woman this lesson is unavoidable. When I was a child, my mother was more like a protector…….She was a cocoon within which I grew…….Over the years her role transformed to a friend or rather a support……. The cocoon ruptured and the worm that was once in a slumber was taught to fly….And now that I’m growing before her eyes she herself is maturing as a woman in this new-found definition of motherhood…….To be honest, this is another beautiful yet astonishing fact of womanhood……The variety of roles that remain under the veil of a single one…….

Apart from being a doting daughter, perhaps the most significant part of my womanhood lies within my being a sister. Friends close to me know about my late brother, who in the short period that he lived, have nurtured me to become a lovely individual by doing many a wonderful things…… Bountiful I am to God for gifting him to me and despondent on the same note for snatching him away from me so ruthlessly….. His haven might have been segregated from me yet he still lives and breathes in my heart…….For I know and he knows there cannot be a better abode for him than the place where my soul resides……He taught me to love , showed me to play and showered me with care………..Yes he remains an intrinsic part of my womanhood, of my entity…….

Till date, if you ask me one role in which I have been the best, I bet it is as a friend…… And that is just because I have been blessed with so many lovely friends…….. Friendship is the beginning of every relationship, as the adage goes. And what is a woman if she is not a friend? She is non-existent. A woman befriends her parents, her husband, her children and above all she befriends her own self….. So without you my friends , life would not have shown me so many vestiges of colors. My friends have paved the way through the thick and thin of life. When I lost my brother it was you Jeba who hugged me to your heart and had it not been your healing touch I myself would have departed by now…….Had it not been all you beautiful ladies, my schoolmates, this girl would not have learnt to grin and giggle and combat through every battle………For we have bloomed together and we will charm this world together……….Long live our friendship……

This was my story……….very prosaic and yet so dear, at least to me…………My gratitude to every woman who has shaped my life and every man who has admired it………Just praying to fit well in all the other roles I am yet to face I bid adieu!!!!!!!!!

A Winter Sermon

Here comes the much-awaited winter
With joys for some and some left to suffer
It rips off the blossom and paints with white
Though honeysuckles grow with indomitable might
It covers the nature with its silvery cloak
As people come home to reunite with folks
But winter isnt the season of cold and plight
As Christmas makes life charming and bright
There far away the churchbells ring
While gifts are exchanged and children sing
"Oh,Holy Lord Jesus Christ
Let your benevolent hand stay upright
To usher blessings and spread glee
So that our miseries start to flee"
And next in line is the New Year
Lets all embrace it forgetting our fear
Of what made us sad in the distant past
Live up the present while the merriments last
For when the monotony of life will return
You wont regain these joys by taking a U-turn
So here i leave a message to all
That winter isnt only the season of fall
It marks an onset,a new beginning
As well as essays a happy ending
It teaches us to enjot life to its fullest
While combatting with griefs and mental unrest
Brace urself up for this festive spree
And collect happiness coz its always free :-)

A Letter To Be Delivered

Dear bro,
Usually I start my letter inquiring about the ‘pink of your health and blue of your mind’…………but this time I won’t go for it……….I am fine…….doing great……….growing up and so is the world around me. In the hustle and bustle of life, I hardly get a chance to recall you……….Bad sister is the epithet I can earn for  this…….No qualms.
It’s been ages since I’ve met you………. five years to be precise……Yes I know all those questions that will be jostling in your mind had you been reading this. So I’m going to answer each one of them…….
1>No I haven’t become a fatso (:-P) though I’m still ‘pleasantly plump’.
2> No I’m not tall enough……. rather obscenely short to some extent.
3> No I still don’t have a boyfriend :-)
Do you remember the last time we met it was at that same weary railway station? A whole different time it was…….Our annual family gathering, the picturesque Siliguri with all its flora and cool breeze, the late night chats, those loud ludo-games(yes you have to accept, even if with a frown on your face that we shouted like urchins ),the ice-creams that the two of us secretly had renouncing our remaining cousins, the innumerable fights, the sessions of ‘no talks and silent glares’ and the consequent sagas of teary-eyed reconciliation.......Yes those were the days we lived for each other. You know, even now, when we are miles apart, all of them complain about your unjustified biasedness towards me…. When you were near me I took it for granted, as if I was meant to be special, but today I admit how proud I was actually of your ‘unjust inclination’….At this point my nostalgia cannot help itself from ringing a bell for all those mischievous ventures we undertook and then beautifully managed to put the blame on someone else’s shoulder every single time (*Giggles*)…..Real jerks we were eh!.....
Then came with a bang that tall girlfriend of yours….the innumerable telephonic conversations that made me red in jealousy and anger (yes I was envious after all she took the man of my life)…….In fact I even hurled curses at her and when she deserted you, though your pathos were beyond watching, I felt a tinge of happiness and relief deep inside my heart. After all you were an entity who was not worth sharing…Amazed to hear? I can see your smile J
What was the name of your crazy dog which used to get overwhelmingly excited watching me? Well it used to chase me the entire house dude unless you yelled …….Crazy creature it was……And exactly how many days were you severed from your pocket-money when you boiled all the fishes of your aquarium by keeping its heater on? 7 I guess…You were one freak!!
All was fine until then……You were there with your king-size heart which cared for only one person on earth……Me…..And then the next scenario that flashes is the small cabin of a local hospital……a bed……your DEATH-BED…..where you were lying in absolute peace…….29th JULY…….9:30 a.m. ……..MASSIVE CARDIAC ATTACK……….All this while we were playing ,the world being our playground, and the next moment I’m lost in the ocean of humanity with you holding me no more…….I whined and screamed that day…….as if I myself will strike another attack…..and well now I’m surprised at how I survived from one considering the impact with which the void was punched through my chest………The next day at school, my matured friends told me ‘People whom God loves die young’…..But I wonder how could you be possibly one of God’s favourite? I mean you were naughty, impatient, rude…..not at all a ‘good-boy’ material……..You might be close to the conceived heaven…….But I wonder whether you ask Him which shirt to wear everyday…..
Over the years the tears have dried and the pain has left behind a pungent trail of solitude. But the memories…….they have grown to become the assets of my life. And now, when your umbrella has been snatched away, your sister has set for a mission to find a person who will be my ‘hearth and haven’ like you were.
A rather long epistle considering the impatient weirdo you actually are……….This heart still beats and bleeds for you
                                                                                                                                                                                        Yours and only your sister
( A tribute to my late cousin)