One of those few gifted days when there is a rendezvous between just you and me......Rest all are lost in oblivion......Those few days when people around me have severed themselves from me....No happiness, no misery, just one feeling and that is you Dada...... Yes, after all, what are you now more than that, if I am to materialize? Bunch of cherishing memories, sudden echoes of masculine giggles audible in a gust of wind, trail os silent tears, impenetrable tranquility, in which exists you and only you......
You know, today, devoid of any introduction, 'King' came to my mind...... Yes that crazy dog of yours, who used to eat everything around. Didn't even spare my shoes, that schmuck. No, don't you dare frown!! And then his terrifying demise flashed before my vision.......Poor creature.......
Some days ago I was going through dusty albums seeking for photographs which have captured you and me together. After two days of futile effort of gaping at old tarnished pictures I recalled that silly promise which we made of taking no pictures of ours, thinking we will never need them, obvious of the fact of never segregating from each other.We were too hasty to define our destiny brother.Separation was a mighty joke for us back then but little did we know that fate has a nasty habit of playing pranks with mortals. It snatched your hand from mine and here I am dying to get one sight of your dear face but deprived of any. Life is nothing but an unjust gamble, a biased probability.........
This is a world weary of despondence Dada. People around you only want to see you happy, and when your eyes are swollen out of crying, when your face is wrinkled out of wailing, they do not want to take even a glimpse of that. Sometimes I feel that I want my loved ones to be happy not because of the sake of their delight but more because of the sake of my peace. People are scared of providing compassion, too much insouciant to cry at your grief. You know sometimes I make that imbecile folly of declaring our departed relation to be surreal and every time by doing that I end up making a fool of it.......I totally accept the blame. Forgive me if possible..........
The past years have gone with the wind but things relating to you have hardly altered. Even recent times are accompanied by midnight madness, choking pathos, excruciating pain and trauma which portrays your loss.......The incurable wound......Yes it has become sordid with time but even old scratches hurt when pricked......
You went and with you went our guffaws, our delightful screams, the unsullied completeness of my life, the spectacular love, the undemanding friendship and lastly the reason to live........You know, off late when I committed a precarious tomfoolery, my friends rebuked me as selfish.......But am I that brother? Tell me am I that??? Had I been selfish I would have accompanied you to paradise the very day you set for its journey.......But I let you go and I stayed, I breathed, I grinned, I enjoyed, I lived life as we used to say 'queen-size' just for the sake of others........Then why? Why have I been tagged selfish? Just because of those very rare occasions during which the yearn to meet you surpasses all other worldly ties and I am unable to resist myself? I vowed to you that even if the urge takes a toll over me I'll not allow to culminate to an end......And I won't break my resolution, not the one given to you at least......Even then I am rechristened as a 'psycho bitch'.....Hilarious for sure.Years of pretension goes to vain....Alas!!
Even now I get wet in July in the after hour rains......Twice to be precise....On my birthday to feel the girl I was and on your death day to feel You...... And oh yes I do succeed in the effort though the heart wishes something more than an inscrutable feeling.........
A cloud of question accumulating at the corner of my mind......may be another proof of my insanity......but am I not living enough for others and more for you, or rather your reminiscence? Only you could answer this but even the voice has perished leaving behind a helpless sister and her unfailing emotions......
You know, today, devoid of any introduction, 'King' came to my mind...... Yes that crazy dog of yours, who used to eat everything around. Didn't even spare my shoes, that schmuck. No, don't you dare frown!! And then his terrifying demise flashed before my vision.......Poor creature.......
Some days ago I was going through dusty albums seeking for photographs which have captured you and me together. After two days of futile effort of gaping at old tarnished pictures I recalled that silly promise which we made of taking no pictures of ours, thinking we will never need them, obvious of the fact of never segregating from each other.We were too hasty to define our destiny brother.Separation was a mighty joke for us back then but little did we know that fate has a nasty habit of playing pranks with mortals. It snatched your hand from mine and here I am dying to get one sight of your dear face but deprived of any. Life is nothing but an unjust gamble, a biased probability.........
This is a world weary of despondence Dada. People around you only want to see you happy, and when your eyes are swollen out of crying, when your face is wrinkled out of wailing, they do not want to take even a glimpse of that. Sometimes I feel that I want my loved ones to be happy not because of the sake of their delight but more because of the sake of my peace. People are scared of providing compassion, too much insouciant to cry at your grief. You know sometimes I make that imbecile folly of declaring our departed relation to be surreal and every time by doing that I end up making a fool of it.......I totally accept the blame. Forgive me if possible..........
The past years have gone with the wind but things relating to you have hardly altered. Even recent times are accompanied by midnight madness, choking pathos, excruciating pain and trauma which portrays your loss.......The incurable wound......Yes it has become sordid with time but even old scratches hurt when pricked......
You went and with you went our guffaws, our delightful screams, the unsullied completeness of my life, the spectacular love, the undemanding friendship and lastly the reason to live........You know, off late when I committed a precarious tomfoolery, my friends rebuked me as selfish.......But am I that brother? Tell me am I that??? Had I been selfish I would have accompanied you to paradise the very day you set for its journey.......But I let you go and I stayed, I breathed, I grinned, I enjoyed, I lived life as we used to say 'queen-size' just for the sake of others........Then why? Why have I been tagged selfish? Just because of those very rare occasions during which the yearn to meet you surpasses all other worldly ties and I am unable to resist myself? I vowed to you that even if the urge takes a toll over me I'll not allow to culminate to an end......And I won't break my resolution, not the one given to you at least......Even then I am rechristened as a 'psycho bitch'.....Hilarious for sure.Years of pretension goes to vain....Alas!!
Even now I get wet in July in the after hour rains......Twice to be precise....On my birthday to feel the girl I was and on your death day to feel You...... And oh yes I do succeed in the effort though the heart wishes something more than an inscrutable feeling.........
A cloud of question accumulating at the corner of my mind......may be another proof of my insanity......but am I not living enough for others and more for you, or rather your reminiscence? Only you could answer this but even the voice has perished leaving behind a helpless sister and her unfailing emotions......
No comments:
Post a Comment
I'd love to hear what you think? :)