Recovery

I don't really know what to name this post of mine........Of late I've been often delivering deliberate confused statements that begin with phrases like "I don't know", " I can't figure" etc. as life is continually making me travel a loop.....But its just at one of those many moments of self-realization when pictures before my eyes are less blurred that I made my mind to write up something in this apparently passive blog of mine........No I won't blame time or pressure for my irregular blogging.......Rather it was an intense grip of lethargy added to recurring delusions that sent the pen of my mind almost to oblivion........The last month has been full of incidents.......though every day had the same sordid color of a grim monotony lingering to it, the exercises which it offered to me were always novel...This is what you might say "heights of oxymoron".....What was new to me absolutely was the changed self of mine which at some point of time , like a true lover of colors , used to paint her days with VIBGYOR even if the sky had a sheath of cloud, but now even she has become adapted to grey......*SIGH*

Life, as I always believed, is a jukebox of incidents and there was enough of it......Adventure I mean......They made me vibrant, the emotions which moulded my heart all these years rippled beautifully in it and there used to be a perpetual sunshine in the world that existed there, with the ripples scintillating in the radiance of my own Sun which, according to me, was my personal beacon of hope,courage, confidence or whatsoever........ However lately the Narnia which I so dearly preserved in my bosom was also having a season of fall.......The blossom no more touched the loom...the ripples had become huge waves of turmoil which out of an engulfing hunger attempted to devour all those which defined me......My friend Tuhin was correct.....Sometimes I tag him to be obtuse, overtly-practical but matured as he is, he correctly highlighted that I was waging a combat out of no reason, was trying to be a martyr out of no need and in the end like a true piece of satire all my efforts got reduced to hilarious futility. Impulsive is how he defines me but through all his taunts and scoldings he taught me one big lesson of life which was required to be learnt.......Its good to be complacent at times in stead of reacting to each and every minuscule issues......So having enough of all possible flavours of grief, enigma and all those eerie feelings......Its time to bid adieu and say Good Riddance!!!!!!
A thing which I realized while pondering for a moment is that all this while my emotions were claustrophobic enough to choke and mutilate me.They got saturated.Long ago I heard a line of wisdom " Every relationship has a high point of its own, but if we base our expectations all the time reminiscing those high moments, the rest of the relation is bound to despond us."As a matter of fact I was just doing that.......I fought with the sweetest person I've ever came across....I was stubborn and brash at one moment but submissive at the very next.....I was, what people say compendium of contradiction........But just before it was late enough to say never the little girl rejuvenated........She came and pulled the back of my coat.......She kissed my cheeks....touched my heart with her magic and with her tender healing touch I recovered and regained myself.....It is just this moment when maybe quite unreasonably I find contentment, I find solace even a condensed salvation you might say.....

Yes I'll rise and flutter with my wings...

Yes I'll giggle and charm with my grin...

Yes I'll love with all my passion......

And never let my heart fall short of compassion....
Just as I was uttering this mantra of the new-found vigour of life,the girl left.......I couldn't even ask her name......Who was she? An angel? A magi? Or was she just the very little child in me on whom I have unleashed ruthless atrocities out of no cause? Whoever she was, I pray she rules and rescues others in the same way.......While heartfelt gratitude is being dedicated to her,I am hereby driving breeze towards my own Narnia........I just got it back.......What?????? Sunshine, spring, VIBGYOR, melody, delight,in short......A Complete Bliss!!!!!!!